In honor of the NFL Draft weekend...

I love this weekend. It's almost like a fresh start, but it never lives up to what we're told it should be. It's just a lot of fun to have the idea that all of these kids can take your team to the Super Bowl, even though it's about 50/50 that the kids make an impact the year they are drafted.

Given the importance of the weekend, I'd like to do my own little mock draft.

1.) With the first pick of the 2009 COWHN draft, the Church of Scientology takes: The talking Donkey from the book of Numbers. This pick is easy to understand. A talking donkey? What would get the kids involved in the movement of Scientology more than that? But that's beside the point, this Donkey has a higher Thetan level than even John Travolta's boyfriend (allegedly).













2.) With the second overall pick of the 2009 COWHN draft, The Church Of What's Happening Now selects: Job! After hearing about his hardships, the Church of What's Happening Now decided to give this man of God a good home after a rough season. Why is he always picked on? I don't get it. Boils? Really? Boils? Man, that's rough. Besides, his illusions are amazing (tricks are what a whore does for money).







3.) The third pick in the COWHN draft belonged to the Catholics but in a surprise move, they traded down (although terms of the deal are sketchy, apparently the Catholic Church recieved Martin Luther so he could end his career where it started), although they really could have used a good offensive lineman, the Pope made the trade saying "We don't believe in protection." (Waka Waka!!!)











3.) The third pick in the draft goes to the Westboro Baptist Church, and they select: Jesus Christ. But like John Elway and Eli Manning before him, Jesus refuses to join the team. "Apparently these Assholes weren't paying attention to anything I had to say. These guys are fucking nuts!" Jesus told ESPN (through ESP).











There you have it the top 3 picks of the 2009 Church of What's Happening Now draft.

For the real 100th post, I provide you with this gift

I can no longer live the lie. I have seen the light some time ago, and Xenu be damned, I can't keep it to myself anymore. The truth is here!

Now, I'm not suggesting you read the whole thing at once. To do so would leave you a quivering mass in your own filth (THAT DOESN'T EVEN EXIST!!!!), your puny human brain simply could not fathom the great truth revealed within.

Human beings were created (that is, invented) via genetic experiments that were conducted by reptilian aliens. These reptilian aliens, also known
as the "Anunnaki" or the "Reptilians," still rule the Earth to this day...Ironically enough, however--and this is indeed one huge irony--by you worshipping science and thinking that it will lead you to the truth, you are actually preventing the Reptilians from ever being exposed. This is because the Reptilians are the very ones who created science. Therefore, you cannot use science against them in order to expose them; that would be nonsensical. In fact, science already has safeguards against this kind of stuff (i.e., according to science, despite all of the evidence to the contrary, aliens do not exist).

There. Flawless Logic. Space Logic, even; Dawkins eat your heart out.

Not to mention:

It is indeed tragic that men cannot satisfy their sexual needs without also getting trapped in a relationship at the same time (otherwise, they will be accused of rape, since non-relationship consensual sex does not exist on Earth, due to the aforementioned programming of women). Demonic enslavement traps such as this are the standard modus operandi of the Reptilians and Darkness. Now, just imagine if you had to buy an entire pizza restaurant just to order a pizza; an evil absurdity indeed.

Another thing that makes women insufferable is the fact that they are, essentially, babies. That is, they possess the emotional maturity of a 4-year-old boy. Women cry, throw fits, and need men to take care of them. Um, adults shouldn't need someone else to take care of them.

Is this really news to anyone? Honestly!

So you say to yourself, okay, I see the light. No. Wrong. I laugh at how foolishly wrong you are thusly: HA!

For you see, you have yet to discover Time Cube. But I'll save my write-up for that when are ready. Choose your path Neo. Choose your path...

Tumblr

Don't really know much about these tumblr thingies, but I thought I'd give it a shot.

http://inscienceandcatgames.tumblr.com/

Anyone else know much about this? I don't always have my finger on the pulse of the web.

Crushing Your Enemies, Seeing Them Driven Before You, and Hearing the Lamentations of the Executives

So, during my thrice daily online news roundup (Drudge Report, the Huffington Post, International Herald Tribune, BBC, heck sometimes Al Jazera) I came upon an article that piqued my interest.

Much of the these initial stages of the Obama Administration have been spent just cleaning up the mess of the last eight years. That is, getting the government back to work I suppose, not to mention the vast majority of time spent hiring and firing and deliberating on who works for the government, who works for the people, and who had an agenda contrary to democracy. Gotta love those slow creaky gears of the republic eh? You can practically hear Rahm Emanuel spreading grease.

But, many think (myself included at times), that Barack Obama will end up being less of a progressive, than the moderate-if not somewhat comprising, figure...closer to Clinton the triangulator than say FDR or even Eisenhower (come on, he really defended the New Deal from his own Party).

For instance, Obama reduced the real life issue of revisiting the country's Marajuana Laws to a joke, a jest, a media friendly chuckle. In this case the question was worded poorly. It asked, in part, that wouldn't the legalization of marajuana be a an economic boon to the lagging U.S. economy.

First, the step needed to correct the long lost War on Drugs is decriminalization. This question also overlooks the obvious. How much money has been and continues to be wasted on the loosing war? How much is spent criminalizing whole swathes of the American public and incarcerating them? How much money can be spent to protect people from a plant? Whatever, I am getting too far from the article.

So, my concern is that Barack Obama is too much a moderate, unwilling or unable to correct the multitudes of errors made this past century. Daunting task? You betcha. But then i read this article, linked via the Huffington Post.

Ok, so what if Obama doesn't posture like the macho cowboy or bang his fist on the bully pulpit. The real deal of politics is what goes on behind the scenes. If this is
any indication, we have a lot to look forward to.

Hymn of true love

I've been on a huge Magic Numbers kick again.
This is one of those songs that just explains it, there's only so many words that you can throw together and have it make sense, but this is a perfect example of how it can be done. And as far as love songs go, it's up there with "Buckets of Rain" by Bob Dylan.

As well as the faithful readers of this blog, this is dedicated to the love of my life, Science (the person, not the methodological study of the world).

Just doing the Lord's work...

New Chick Tract!!!

So many gems in this Tract:
- Bulimia
- Characature of Pope Ratzi
- Apparently the Catholoc Church is still selling indulgence
- The above attempt at connecting with the hip crowd
- The bashing with a broad stick of all religion
- And keep an eye out for what I think is Stone Cold Steve Austin!

Judge Judy and Executioner

I'm not a big fan of Judge Judy -- of course I'm not a fan of TV judges in general -- But I find Judge Judy in particular to be shrill, annoying, and off-putting. But this piece was brought to my attention by an old friend from high school (thanks Katy). Larry King brings up Prop 8, and Judy Sheindlin offers a brief and stirring call for common sense (and yes, I get it, Judge Judy is not what I would call the summit of rationality, but this was quite a moving message from her). Plus if you don't like Judy or Larry King, you might like Larry King telling Judy that she'll "never make it" to 2013.

On to the vid: