New Year's Hymn

Here are not only two fantastic tunes by Stevie Wonder, but an amazing "this-could-only-happen-in-1966" mid-performance interview between aforementioned (16-year-old) musical genius and an awkward white guy.

There's just something about "A Place in the Sun" that makes me want to hug the world. And say 'yeah!' (which, Ian, isn't so very different from clapping hands and saying yeah.)



I think this should be considered Stevie's application for official sainthood in the Church.

Can I get a (r)Amen?

I'm using up all my Sabbaths at once...

Okay, so I just saw this terribly blasphemous film (in the process, really) called 'Religulous.' I find it absolutely disgraceful that the Internet would host such filth (You can watch this abomination unto man here; ads may be NSFW).

(Please note, the above link was presented not for promotion of such terrible blasphemy, but so my congregation may easily avoid it. Piracy bad!!!)

Inspiration has moved me towards our latest Hymn. Presented for elder approval is Bob Dylan's classic "Highway 61 Revisited"



The Freakin' Deacon

Update: Just finished the movie and got to the thesis of the film: Religion weakens the hearts and minds of men, and leads us further into destruction (keep in mind this is a documentary and like any Michael Moore film, it follows the same template: discredit the other side, show them as weak and insignificant, and allow for airtime to answer questions that may have been posed by the opposition that quick thinking couldn't provide for). As a skeptic it's fun, but it's the wrong kind of fun. It's like watching World Wrestling Federation or eating at the China Buffet in Manitowoc -- it feels good to watch it, but only in the sense that it feels good to scratch a mosquito bite.

I think this just boils down to seeing religion in two different ways. Bill Maher (and Dawkins, and Hitchens) think that the fundamental problem with the world is that so many people buy into religion. I think that a fundamental problem with the world is that religion has a tendency to be intolerant of non-belief. But see, I can kind of see the premise behind that. If we don't believe, we don't get in. Our loved ones don't like that. I can't see the idea behind the premise of hating people because of their faith.

Here's the kicker though. The Freakin' Deacon, my mother-in-law, the average Jew, and the average Muslim have nothing but the greatest intentions for the world in our minds. But we get divided because we're drowned out by the Mahmoud Ahmadinejads, Pope Ratzingers (the Nazinger), and Ted Haggards of the world. I don't think skeptics need to assert that we don't believe (or in my case, are unsure), we need to assert that these guys don't speak for us, and not point the finger when some preacher speaks for the other side.

Just a thought,

The Freakin' Deacon

Nice.

Christmas Hymn: A Two-for-One Special

In the spirit of the "new Black Friday," I'm offering a basement-bargain deal on the Hymn of the Day, with two entries from The Flaming Lips.

Enjoy!

Be Peaceful, Be kind.

The first celebrations of the winter variety came about around 7,000 years ago. In the land between the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, ancient Sumerians gathered together in the local school gymnasium to stare at their children on the stage. Historians aren't exactly sure why, but it appears as though they all showed up wearing winter garb very similar to ours; like us, they also didn't have a place to put their fucking coats for the duration of the show. It being the first Christmas show there were no songs to sing, or plays to perform. The tradition continued for several thousands until today.

The holiday season means many things to many people. Be they Jews who celebrate Hanukkah, Pastafarians who celebrate Holiday, Atheists who celebrate Christmas, or freaks who celebrate Festivus. One of the very charming things about this time of year for everyone involved, is that strangers pretend like we care for one another more (our advertisements even proclaim this). The truth is: traffic's a mess, stores are ridiculous, everyone's grumpy, and where are all those friendly neighbors with those fancy snow-blowers when you're out with the shovel?

I have felt this way about the season for a long time. But it's all bullshit. What really matters this time of year is not the guy in the Cadillac Escalade who can't drive for shit, or the person who is completely oblivious to being in your way at the store (do people get off on this? I swear to god!). The holiday season is, and should be, about the people you love. It should be about being happy, and being excited that days are getting longer, and that we are closer to spring (or the dawn of a football season that hopefully won't see the total collapse of my two favorite teams), and that (thanks to presents given by my Step-Mother, among other habits, rituals, and tools) my kids are a step closer to being literate and not frustrated by reading.

H/t to Alex for pointing out to me a new Atheist celebration that uses the spirit of the holidays to create a humanist holiday for those living outside of faith. It's called HumanLight. Alex nailed it when he said it seems a little silly and unnecessary, especially since Atheists have no problem celebrating Christmas. But the point is, we need to do all we can to make ourselves and our loved ones happy, and that's what this holiday appears to be about. And that's what our lives should be about.

Be happy everyone, but don't try to put happiness on your Credit Card.

~This Blogger is raged!!!~

Okay, so this Amish lady, Rebbecca, goes to an airport to apply for a job as a flight attendant. Her resume is amazing. She can (and does quite frequently) cook for 80 people, she's really friendly, and is used to dealing with "the angry English."

"I have to warn you, the job is not easy, you have to know exactly what the needs of each passenger are at all times. Your job isn't being a flight attendant, really it's more like being an indentured servant," says the interviewer.

Rebbecca insists that she can handle it.

"Great" says the guy interviewing her, "we have a spot open for you, come by on Monday to start your training."

That Monday the Rebbecca shows up, and she breezes through the training -- twice as fast as anybody has ever done it. Even the simulations go great: she foils the fake would be terrorist, serves another cup of decaf, and gives little Johnny a pillow all while keeping her bonnet perfectly straight.

"Wow" says the trainer, we usually make everybody go through three weeks of training, but we all feel that you're ready. Show up tomorrow for your first flight."

"Flight? I can't fly, I'm morally opposed to airplanes and everything they stand for." says the Amish lady.

"So why did you apply for the job?" asks the trainer.

"Well I figured I could do all of the things the job requires me without getting on an airplane," Rebbecca says.

"Without getting on an airplane? But that's what the job is! It's even the title of the handbook, 'Being on the Plane: a guide to serving people on a plane!' How did you expect to do the job properly?" Says the trainer.

Rebbecca retorts "well you can't make me get on the plane. Where's my check?"

Okay we all see the problem here. We all like Rebbecca, she's talented, able to do her job, and has every intention of doing her job unless it interferes with her beliefs. But the story presented illustrates the problem with executive legislation pushed through by the lame-duck administration recently.

You see, a new rule grants medical professionals of faith to withhold medical attention if it interferes with their religious beliefs.

Says Mike Leavitt secretary of the Department Health and Human Services: Doctors and other health-care providers should not be forced to choose between good professional standing and violating their conscience

You see the problem with that thinking is that no one is being forced to choose between violating their conscience and their professional standing. This isn't Stalinist Ireland (just go with it, it makes sense). Nobody is forced into a professional career, these people spend tens of thousands of dollars to go to school in order to get into the lucrative business of providing medical care.

The far-reaching regulation cuts off federal funding for any state or local government, hospital, health plan, clinic or other entity that does not accommodate doctors, nurses, pharmacists and other employees who refuse to participate in care they find ethically, morally or religiously objectionable. It was sought by conservative groups, abortion opponents and others to safeguard workers from being fired, disciplined or penalized in other ways.

If I had gone to my job interview with Beans n' Cream and said "I will do everything except help people who arrived by car because I have the belief that cars are evil, and are destroying the earth," I wouldn't have been employed -- and rightfully so.

It's not like this shit sneaks up on you. You know exactly what you're getting into, and if you don't it's up to you to fix it by finding new employment.

My biggest problem with this sort of faith based initiative is that it always assumes people are doing good when it comes to making decisions in good faith. We live in a society that tries to level the playing field as much as possible for those that are playing the faith card. But it's bullshit. If someone is unwilling to give care based on their religious views, they are unqualified to hold the job. It's that simple.

The Freakin' (pissed) Deacon

The World Debut of The Church of What's Happening Now Official Hymn!!!

Edit: As per my wife's request, I have added the lyrics to the Hymn in Block quotes (below the video).

So, I'm pretty unimpressed with the video. I'd like to record it in a proper setting (not a webcam and the webcam's microphone), this would allow me more freedom and the ability to use my big boy voice.

But I like the song, and I wondered: what the hell kind of church would we be if we didn't have an official hymn?

So submitted for the church elders and parishioners of the first church of reason's approval is the official hymn of the church!

V,1-
Oh Atheists, Taoists, and happy-go-luckies
people who don't give a damn
Secular Humanists, and all of you tourists
and people stuck in a jam
If you feel lost and lost on the cross
and need somewhere to belong
Come on in, you'll fit right in,
Just help us sing this song

V, 2-
Be peaceful, be kind, Use your heart, use your mind
Do unto others, as they'd do unto you
Take a joke, enjoy a smoke, and relax that old world view
Perhaps you feel mad, or maybe your sad, frustrated, down, and blue
You'll get no grief, come and get some relief, please won't you pull up a pew

(Chorus)
So we'll bow at the alter of Reason
and celebrate each passing season
Don't feel down, we're right here in town
We're the Church of What's Happening Now

V,3-
You can pass on that old time religion,
but pass me the comunal wine
You can do anything that you wanna do, as long it don't trespass on mine
Well if it feels right won't you please do it,
But if it don't just let it be
My friends are all here and it's given me cheer
Jack's all the Dogma I need

V, 4-
Don't wait on no fire and brimstone
You won't get none of that here
cheering, laughter, and music, is all that'll ring in your ear
The only vestment we have is a bathrobe
and we ain't never heard of a sin
our wisemen are women, our saints are our friends
please have an Amen (Amen!)

(Chorus)

Peace,

The Freakin' Deacon

Late and Lonely II: It Still Gets Dark, Return of the Grievous Angel

Thanks to the F.D. for breaking the Parsons cherry. I've been itching to pop it. That said, there's just too much to be said about Gram and not enough music to be heard. I chose "Return of the Grievous Angel" as the song for this post. It never quits, it tugs at the heart strings, even causes some goose flesh on my neck.

It's probably because it addresses that good ol' poetic question that goes back to Odysseus and beyond, "how do I get home again?" I just love that question and the search for home is a mystery really. It's why we leave home or just ramble.

These lines always get to me:

"Twenty thousand roads I went down, down, down
And they all lead me straight back home to you"

"`Cause I headed West to grow up with the country"

Late and Lonely Hymn...

Gram Parsons. I've been trying to wrote about this name for awhile. He was everything that was right about Country and Americana. He was Jerry Garcia,George Jones and Tumbleweed rolled into one. Throw in Emmylou, an Angel (type case) right here on earth, and you get something that we'll sadly never see or hear again. I was trying to decide what would be the best Emmylou/Gram song that I could post and I couldn't find one that matched how I felt. Instead I decided to post this, Emmylou's tribute to Gram. And what a tribute it is. I've already rambled for far too long. I'll let Emmylou do her amazing, awe-inspiring thing.

Oh, Snap! (with apologies to Ian)

I've heard Geoffery Canada before; he was a guest on, I believe, Talk of the Nation, in the past couple of months. This is a great program, especially the idea of Baby College. There is absolutely a disparity between the haves and have-nots in this country; that disparity is knowledge. The more educated parents are, the more opportunity their children will have. It's not about money (or at least, it's not ALL about money). Knowledge is power; the more knowledge is available to parents to share with their children, the further those children will go. Even if those children decide to become English majors.

"My guest tonight wants to help underprivileged kids go to college. Well, if they major in English, they'll become underprivileged adults."
-Stephen Colbert, December 8, 2008


Ian, don't listen to anything Stephen Colbert says. I know you're going to go far. In fact, don't listen to anything I say. Or, if you must listen to me, take it all with a grain of salt & know I will make up for it in Tibetan sweets.

P.S. Tonight's post brought to you by vitamin Beer.

He's a Cyber Freak, Cyber Freak: He's Cyber Freakin'

Today my dad sent me an interesting email.

It was a link to slashdot, a uber nerdy website.

The story is about William Gibson, a prescient science fiction writer of the dreaded American/Canadian hybrid. I have only read a little of the man's work. But he envisioned much of the internet has become, and how computers, cyberworlds, etc...have shaped humans.

I've yet to read the AGRIPPA Files poem, I've only slept about 5 hours the last three days, but I look forward to it after finals are over, as well as more good future-fashioned sci-fi reading over the winter holidays. Neal Stephenson's "Anathem" hear I come.

But I'll post it here as well:

Bud Cook writes "While the text of William Gibson's elusive electronic poem AGRIPPA is widely posted around the Web, it has not been seen in its original incarnation — custom-built software designed to scroll the poem through a single play before encrypting each line with an RSA algorithm — since 1992. Today is the 16th anniversary, to the day, of the poem's initial release. A team of scholars at the University of Maryland and UC Santa Barbara used forensic computing to restore the code from an original diskette loaned by a collector and have placed video of the complete 'run,' as well as never-before-seen footage from the night of AGRIPPA's public debut in 1992, up on a Web site called the Agrippa Files. There's also a detailed essay documenting the forensic process, plus a mess of stills, screenshots, and a copy of the disk image itself."


Here is the link to UC Santa Barbara's AGRIPPA recent past archeology of sorts.

Jon Stewart Says it...

Because I'm far to busy to say it.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Mike Huckabee Pt. 2

Barack Obama Interview
John McCain Interview

Sarah Palin Video
Funny Election Video

I generally like Huckabee. He truly believes in his convictions, and he isn't swayed by money or power (okay, well as much as a politician can not be swayed bu these things). His convictions are just weird to me.

To All Our Readers, Deacons, Acolytes, & Who-Have-Yous

sometimes i check the site meter, not so much to see how many hits we get (not all that great), but rather to see where our readers are from. this helps me to discern whether we are just entertaining ourselves (we are & that's really enough for me) or whether anyone else, especially non friends & family, are interested.

so, with that, my call is to all you anonymous readers to comment. give us feedback or give us direction---is there something you'd like to see more of? (yeah i see that preposition dangling there grammar geeks)

kisses & cashews
cheers & beers

~ian

Classic!

I'm sure the Church has seen this before - and if you haven't, you ought to. Anyone want to get together this Friday?

Medical Marijuana
Uploaded by TraceyUK

Winter Hymn/ Southern Hymn

Last night Ghost Town Council made their High Noon Saloon debut to an enthusiastic crowd opening for Wichita Kansas' Split Lip Rayfield.

Tonight's song always brings a smile to my face. It's by the Mountain Goats, from the record, "All Hail West Texas". But for some reason this song translates well to winter.

Here's the words. Maybe my new favorite band will learn it? Here's to hoping. Hell of a job guys.



"she came in on the redeye to dallas-fort worth.
all the way from sunny taipei.
skin the color of a walnut shell,
and a baseball cap holding down her black hair.
and she came here after midnight.
the hot weather made her feel right at home.
come on in, we haven't slept for weeks.
drink some of this. it'll put color in your cheeks.

he drove from in from mexicali, no worse for wear.
money to burn, time to kill.
but five minutes looking in his eyes and we all knew he
was broken pretty bad, so we gave him what we had.
we cleared a space for him to sleep in,
and we let the silence that's our trademark
make its presence felt.
come on in, we haven't slept for weeks.
drink some of this. it'll put color in your cheeks.

they came in by the dozens, walking or crawling.
some were bright-eyed.
some were dead on their feet.
and they came from zimbabwe,
or from soviet, georgia.
east saint louis, or from paris, or they lived across the street.
but they came, and when they'd finally made it here,
it was the least that we could do to make our welcome clear.
come on in, we haven't slept for weeks.
drink some of this. it'll put color in your cheeks."
~john darnielle